7 Ways to Comfort Someone When They Feel Down
Providing comfort to your loved ones during times of difficulty is essential. To do it correctly, it is vital to know how to listen without judgment, avoid empty words or sermons, and foster a person’s resilience. We’ve all been through tough times and challenging times. In the roughest moments, we do not always receive the support we desire from the environment. This does not mean the people close to us do not love or care about us. This is often related to the general lack of emotional education in society.
They have not taught us to function in this scenario which can prevent us from knowing how to give comfort when appropriate. For this reason, we can also make mistakes and not know how to offer our emotional support to loved ones who are going through painful moments. From childhood, we are taught that difficult emotions are harmful and must be repressed or hidden. This makes it difficult for us to deal with unpleasant states, our own and others.
Hence, when someone suffers, we feel we have a vast flare pending to put out quickly. The truth is that there is no fire to put out, and learning to console implies learning to tolerate the complex emotions that we loved one’s experience. Only in this way can we listen calmly and offer genuine support instead of filling the silence with empty phrases. In this article, we will discuss some standard keys that help support and comfort a person.
When someone close to us is going through a wrong time, it is common for our first reaction to be to downplay the problem or resort to positive phrases to cheer them up. Although well-intentioned, these strategies often invalidate a person’s emotions, which can make them feel deeply misunderstood and even judged.
Usually, when someone is going through emotional pain, they don’t expect well-thought-out advice or a bombastic phrase from others. Instead, it needs genuine listening without a lot of frills. Less is often more when it comes to giving support, so paying full attention will be more helpful than talking nonsense.
In difficult moments, it is most likely that you cannot (and should not) do anything to eliminate the suffering of the other. Instead, your role should be to offer accompaniment and support, allowing that person to vent freely. Next, we are going to discuss some of the essential keys to being able to comfort someone adequately.
-
Listen Actively
Providing comfort has little to do with talking and much to do with listening. Therefore, supporting someone in difficult times requires knowing how to receive their message openly. This involves listening without interrupting, looking into the eyes, stimulating the other’s expression with gestures and tag lines, and asking questions. All these signs show whether we are listening or, on the contrary, not limiting ourselves to listening with little interest.
In moments of pain, we all need to feel that others care about what happens to us. We need to talk, bring out what we carry inside and notice that we are essential. If this does not happen, finding room for support and comfort is difficult. Nowadays, it’s hard to find someone who knows how to listen.
Most people look at their phones while you are talking to them, abruptly changing the subject and even diverting the conversation to themselves. If that person requires you at a time when you cannot give them your full attention, you should let them know honestly and propose to talk at another time. You can suggest that he drink another day to calmly tell you what is happening to him.
-
Don’t Take For Granted What That Person Needs
When someone is having a hard time, we can make the mistake of taking what that person needs for granted. This can lead us to do more damage on the damage. Therefore, the best thing we can do is ask the other how we can help. Taking for granted how we have to help can make that person uncomfortable and, far from making things easier for them, make them feel even worse. There are those who, under challenging times, need to talk and be accompanied. Instead, others may require solitude to reflect and recover themselves.
-
Avoid Empty Sentences
We have all heard common phrases that are used to encourage someone who is going through difficult times. As we anticipated at the beginning, these words,s often end up making the situation worse since they are used to fill the silence and not as genuine comfort for the other person.
To begin with, we must be aware that it is not always necessary to say something. Some situations are simply painful, and no words can ease the impact they produce. In these cases, we can best remain silent and offer affection through gestures such as hugs and caresses. A simple “I love you” can heal more than any prepared speech if you want to say something.
-
Facilitates The Emotional Expression of The Other
Even if we don’t say anything, our non-verbal language is critical. Through it, we transmit much more than we think. The expression on our faces and body language allows us to make other feel in a climate of trust and security. These sensations can help the person open up more quickly or maintain a calmer emotional state.
-
This Is Not the Time To Blame Judge
Sometimes, we may make the mistake of holding the person responsible for what happens to them, even going so far as to judge or blame them with hurtful phrases. Remember that if you want to comfort, this is not the time for reproaches or pointing out. Avoiding expressions like “I told you so,” “it’s your fault,” and “you got here because you wanted to “… will allow you to truly connect with her discomfort and feel compassion and empathy for her. Save the speeches for another time, and don’t give unsolicited advice.
-
Accompany Over Time
Recovering from the death of someone close to you takes time, and having people close to you throughout the process is critical. When a painful event happens to someone close, it is typical for the entire environment to turn upside down just as it occurs. However, over time the person continues to suffer with the support that quickly dissipates. This is especially important when a loved one is grieving.
Usually, the most significant pain does not come in the first moments after the loss but later. Therefore, our role as a source of comfort is to be there in those most critical moments. Therefore, if someone from your family or friends is in this situation, you must remain pending for a few months.
-
Feed That Person’s Resilience
Resilience refers to the ability of people to overcome adversity. In the face of a painful event, resilient people know how to implement resources and strategies to cope with pain and recover despite what they have experienced. The environment plays a vital role in this regard.
When we have a network that provides support, it is easier to deal with suffering. In short, we managed to acquire greater resilience. For this reason, if someone close to you is going through a wrong time, it can be of great help if you invite them to do some rewarding activity together: go out for a drink, exercise, paint… these are just a few examples. In this way, the person will feel better emotionally and more capable and valid.
Conclusion
In this article, we have discussed some essential keys that can help accompany and comfort those close to you who are going through a difficult time. From childhood, we are taught that unpleasant emotions are something negative that we must repress or avoid. This makes most people feel deeply uncomfortable in the face of their own and others’ complex emotions. However, the truth is that all emotions are equally valid and necessary.
Comforting correctly is an important task, but it is often done (albeit with good intentions) in the wrong way. Therefore, some keys are helpful to avoid doing more damage to damage. For this reason, when someone close to you is dealing with a painful moment, you must know how to accompany and support them without trying to eliminate their pain.
Among them are knowing how to listen actively, not taking for granted what that person needs, avoiding phrases and empty words, facilitating the emotional expression of the other, avoiding judging or blaming, and accompanying throughout the time that the painful process lasts.
These strategies allow us to connect with the other person genuinely, helping them feel heard and with a space to vent without judgments involved. In this way, we manage to welcome and sustain the pain of others without minimizing it. And contribute to nurturing the resilience of the person.
